We’re ten minutes into fourth period and I’m staring off into space, worrying about Mr. Martinez. My intuition has quit nagging at me, and I’m scared about what that means.

“You’re missing the show,” Presley whispers.

Mr. Bentley’s sitting all red-faced at his desk as he plows through a heated debate with Susan about her grade on a paper we handed in last week. That girl’s impossible. If it’s not one thing, it’s another with her. The whole class tried to politely ignore the exchange at first, but now everyone’s openly listening.

“Susan, the bottom line is that your research paper wasn’t up to snuff,” Mr. Bentley says. “I’m sorry, but it’s just not an A-standard paper. You got a B, and a B is a perfectly fine grade.” 

Susan stomps her patent-leather-clad foot and balls up her fists like a toddler. “Buuuuuut, Mr. B-B-B-B, it’s not fair!”

At this point, it’s becoming hard not to laugh. We’ve all got our hands over our mouths, and we’re turning various shades of red and purple.

Marcus can’t take it anymore. “Give it a rest, Susan! The most interesting thing about you is that you finally got a B. Welcome to the Land of No One Cares, where B’s are A’s, those shoes of yours are awesome, and everyone agrees with you.” His words are uncharacteristically mean, but none of us can deny that they’re also hilarious.

Susan turns her beady eyes his way, and if looks could kill, Marcus would have expired in an instant. She stomps up to the table I share with Marcus and Presley, leaning aggressively toward Presley. “I don’t know how you can date him! He’s terrible.”

Presley leans in fast, closing the gap, and hisses at Susan like a cat. Susan jumps back into the table behind her and nearly falls. I put my head on the desk to keep from laughing. I give Presley a thumbs-up, obscured from Susan’s sight under the desk. Presley guffaws.

Mr. B’s standing at the front of the room, eyebrows arched, his hands on the top of his head. As the favorite Magnet school teacher, he rarely has trouble with the students, so this whole episode with Susan seems to have him flummoxed. She’s sulking in her chair, close to tears. Everyone she makes eye contact with rolls their eyes.

The door opens, breaking the silence. Tanner enters the room with Trey behind him. I cock my head to one side in confusion. Trey isn’t in this class. Tanner is, but he rarely makes an appearance.

“Hello, boys,” Mr. Bentley says. “I might thank you for your charmed timing. It’s been an exciting class period thus far. Trey, to what do we owe the pleasure?”

Tanner and Trey exchange a glance before Trey says, “Tanner and I decided to ditch fourth period. We were down the hall in the two-story building when Tanner remembered he had to hand in an assignment to Mr. Martinez.”

The look Trey gives—eyes glazed over, distress thrumming off him—causes my mouth to drop open. My boyfriend is one of the badass protectors of this place. Nothing fazes him. For him to look like this, something has to be very wrong. I try to garner details through our soulmate connection, but he has it walled off on his side, leaving me in the dark.

“Are you okay?” I ask, rushing to him.

When his gaze shifts to me, it’s clear that he’s been completely traumatized.

“Tell us what happened, Tanner,” Presley insists in a panic.

Tanner’s usually gorgeous face is pale and slack, devoid of his trademark spunk. He takes a shaky breath. “I opened the door, and we walked in. I put my assignment in his intake box, and we turned to leave. That’s when we noticed Mr. Martinez on the floor behind his desk. He wasn’t breathing.”

When Trey takes my hand, the image of Mr. Martinez rips through our connection before he can stop it. I hear a rush in my ears as the blood wooshes and swirls in my head. I gasp and double over at the waist from terrible stomach pain.

“DAMN IT!” Presley exclaims. “Me and Melanie told Ms. G to check on him!”

Panic takes me down to my knees. Everything is swirling.

Faintly, I hear Mr. Bentley ask, “What do you mean you told Ms. G?”

Presley’s voice fades away as my thoughts tornado.

My intuition about him dissolved. That was when he died. I’m sure of it. He’s dead and I tried to tell them! What’s the point of having this intuition if no one listens? I can’t take any more of this.

“Was the office notified?”

“I called the office on the classroom phone while Trey started CPR,” Tanner informs. “Principal Walker and the police took over, and we came here. Mr. Martinez still wasn’t breathing when we left his room.”

Everything comes crashing in at once. A tidal wave of my ever-present anxiety mixes with my fear about Joel’s impending trial and my guilt about not being able to save Mr. Martinez. I try to inhale, but nothing happens. Once, when I was eight, the air was knocked out of me when I fell on the playground. This is worse. 

I can’t breathe!

The wall in the middle of my soulmate connection with Trey falls, and in an instant, his alarm shoots through. He now knows I’m physically and emotionally cratering.

“Melanie?” He kneels next to me just as my knees collapse and I fall flat. “Call an ambulance! NOW!” He grabs my face. “Melanie, you’re turning blue. You need to breathe.”

Weakly, I shake my head and try, but nothing happens except a slight rattling sound in my throat. I’ve had panic-induced asthma since I was little, and it gets bad, but never anything like this.

Mr. Bentley rushes up, hovering above me. “Marcus,” he calls across the room, “use your cell phone and dial 911! Dante, call the office on my classroom phone.”

Marcus is one of the only kids at the school who has a cell phone. They’re new and really expensive. Somewhere in the back of my mind, the amused thought floats up just before I lose consciousness: Thank God Marcus comes from money. I might make it because he’s a rich boy.

My vision goes spotty just as I feel Trey’s lips over mine as he starts CPR for the second time today.

Chapter 5

I’m swimming in a gray void.

Think, Melanie . . .

But I can’t. Thoughts don’t connect. There’s something blocking logic. I know this, but somehow, I can’t make sense of all of it. It’s like I have pieces floating past me that come and go, just out of reach.

I drift away from myself again, unable to make the connection.

~~

When I hear a familiar voice, I float back up into the gray.

“What’s wrong with her?”

My mom’s here . . . but where is here?

“We believe she’s in shock from a nervous breakdown. We have her sedated while we try to figure this out. Has she had any trauma to her head?”

Who’s she talking too?

“No.”

“Any emotional trauma she hasn’t dealt with?”

“She was attacked and nearly died. Her attacker has a pending trial for attempted murder, but we thought Melanie was okay. She’s got friends, a boyfriend, she went to the homecoming dance . . .”

I drift off again, carried away into the dark on a tide I can’t control.

~~

The black abyss opens above me, and I float almost to the surface again, nearly close enough to touch, but maddeningly out of reach.

“You can’t keep her on those sedatives! I’m ordering you to take her off them.”

Trey! I try desperately to speak, to move, but nothing. I want to scream. I’m trapped.

“Son, you have no authority to order a change in her medical protocol. We’re doing what we need to for her. Every time we lighten the dose, she has a seizure.”

“What do I need to be to have authority to change her medical protocol?” Trey asks in a tone somewhere between a threat and a whimper.

“You need to be a parent or her husband.”

“Fine, get a minister. I’ll marry her now.”

“How old are you, Trey?”

“Sixteen.”

The disembodied voice chuckles, and I’m sucked back down into the dark.

~~

I’m stuck in the gray water as Trey floats down. I gasp at the sight of him. He strains, trying to swim through the bizarrely thick liquid. He reaches me and wraps his arms around me. I feel more solid than usual as he gets a grasp on me.

“You have to come back, Melanie. I’m lost.”

I don’t know how! I’m trapped!

“I know you are. I’m working on it.”

You can hear me?

“I can hear you.”

Trey launches away, out of sight, cast out by an unknown force. My heart nearly explodes. The quaking starts again.

~~

Everything’s dark gray.

There’s no time here. I’m disappearing.

~~

The world quakes and rattles for the hundredth time. Everything shakes, and I feel like I’m falling.

I have to find solid ground!

“Dose her! Do it now! She’s spiking another fever and seizing.”

“No! Please! I’m begging you. Give her a chance to come out of this.”

“Wait outside, Trey!”

“I’M NOT LEAVING!”

Trey’s upset! Have to get to him!

The world keeps throbbing and quaking. I can’t get my feet under me.

There’s no solid ground!

“Call security!”

“I’m leaving! Just don’t kick me out for good. You don’t understand!”

I fall, shaken back into the black abyss.

~~

This time, when Trey floats down, I gasp and reach, kicking against the oily black water that holds me hostage. He reaches me and takes what should be my face in both hands, but instead, it’s Disembodied Me. He stares into my eyes and wraps around me. He feels solid, but I’m nothing but a ghost. He grapples, trying to get a grasp, panicking. Suddenly, just like before, he’s pulled back up through the dark water, and he soars out of sight.

I hear him scream before the dark water pulls me deeper down.

~~

The black, oily abyss turns gray.

“So, this is the little bitch, huh?”

“That’s her.”

The male voice is familiar . . . but who is it?

“She doesn’t look so scary.”

“She’s definitely scarier than she looks. If you’re going to do it, do it fast. We’re gonna get caught.”

STAN! That’s Stan’s voice. Who’s the woman, though?

Memories of Joel and his best friend, Stan, chasing me maniacally down Hollywood Boulevard make me shudder in the water.

“Hang on, I’ve got the syringe in my purse. If we get rid of her, Joel’s got a shot. We have to off them one at a time, but it has to look like an accident.”

Off us? Panic screams through me, and I try desperately to move my body to no avail.

“Can I help you?”

I know this voice. Every time he comes in, I get sucked back into the abyss.

“Our apologies, Doctor. We’re just visiting a friend.”

“This room is off-limits. You must be on the visitation list for entry. What are your names?”

“We apologize. We’re leaving . . .” Then his tone changes like he’s speaking to the woman. “Come on. We’ll think of something else.” 

Stan’s voice fades away, followed by the cold wash that always sweeps me into the dark.

~~

“It’s been two weeks! This is madness. It has to stop!”

Trey’s voice brings me out of the dark water, sending me drifting closer to the reality I can’t ever reach. I’ve gotten good at listening when I’m in the gray water, but I can’t ever speak or move. It’s mind-numbing.

There’s nothing left of me.

“Trey, I’ve told you over and over that she spikes fevers and seizes every time we try to bring her back.”

“You don’t understand. I know what’s happening!”

“Okay, kid. I’ll humor you because at this point, we have no clue what to do. What do you think is happening?”

“She’s trapped in there. She’s fighting to get out, and every time the sedatives start to wear off, she tries to break free. She’s panicking!”

“How do you know this?”

“You don’t understand us . . . what we have. I have nightmares where I’m trapped in dark water with her every time I sleep.”

Yes! He’s got it figured out!

My mom’s voice joins the conversation. “I know that must sound insane to you, Dr. Bryant, but they can feel each other’s physical pain. If he says it’s happening, I wouldn’t be surprised.”

Rich’s voice adds to the confusion in the gray water. “I can vouch for it also. Trey and Melanie aren’t your average teen couple.”

A chuckle, then, “He asked me to get a minister to marry them so he could change her medical protocol.”

A contemplative pause stretches long.

“You feel that strongly about this, Trey?” Rich asks.

“I’m telling you that I know,” Trey insists.

“If we do this,” the doctor says, “it could kill her.”

“I’ll hold her,” Trey implores. “I can get her through the seizures.”

Rich’s voice floats past again. “Let him try. We have to do something. Nothing else has worked.”

“We’ll consider it tomorrow,” the doctor says hesitantly.

“I’m skipping school then,” Trey insists. “I need to be here.”

“Would you like to stay the night and keep watch over her, Trey?” Rich asks. “Her mom and I are exhausted. Honestly, we could use the help. We don’t want to take a chance that she’ll wake up alone, but we have to sleep at some point.”

I’m sucked back down by the relentless dark water.

~~

I’m exhausted and worn to a sliver. I can’t keep doing this, but I have no choice.

“Melanie, I need you to listen. It’s just you and me. Everyone else is gone.”

Trey!

“I know you can hear me.”

I can hear you! I try again to speak, but nothing. Please, Trey, get me out of here.

“I’ve been tracking the dreams I keep having and the reaction you have when the sedative is wearing off. I know what’s happening. You should be in the gray water now. The dark water sucks you down when they fully dose you.”

Yes! He understands.

Disembodied Me starts to cry, and I hear Trey gasp. 

“Melanie, you’re crying. I’m right, aren’t I?”

Yes!

“I’ve watched how the sedative machine works. They have you hooked to an IV drip. I know how to lessen the dose.”

Do it!

“You’re crying harder . . . Melanie, I know you can hear me. Listen, I’m going to lessen the dosage, but I have to do it slowly. It’s late at night, and there aren’t as many doctors and nurses on duty. I checked your chart, and we have four hours before Dr. Bryant makes his early morning rounds.”

I hear him take a raking gasp.

“They keep saying it could kill you because of the seizures, but I know what we need to do. I need you back. I’m lost.”

My heart’s breaking. I’m lost too.

The sound of three beeps floats by in the water.

“I just turned down the drip. I’m going to lie with you and hold you while you try to come back.”

The gray water’s warmer suddenly. Heavy water on the right. It’s perfect. I sigh. Finally, almost content.

“You sighed.”

I sighed! I thought it was only Disembodied Me.

The water starts to turn a lighter gray. I drift away on what feels like a wave of real sleep.

~~

Beep, beep, beep.

~~

“I love you, Melanie.”

I love you too.

~~

Beep, beep, beep.

~~

The water is light blue. I’m so close to the surface. The shaking starts as a vibration that grows into a full-blown earthquake. My soul rattles. I pitch and flail in the water.

“I’m here. Melanie. Listen to my voice.”

Trey. Clearer this time.

“You can do this, Melanie. Remember what Bear says about you being an Aries? You put on your armor and fight every time. I need you to fight through this.”

The quaking gets worse. I feel like I’m shredding apart.

Trey gasps. “Melanie, stay with me!”

Suddenly, everything stops, and I feel myself pulled gently to the right toward a bright spot in the water.

Trey whispers, “No, no, no! Baby don’t do this!” I hear him sob.

I’m so tired! I drift farther to the right, untethered. 

“Melanie, please. Damn it!” Trey’s voice shudders as if he’s crying. “I don’t know what to do. I’m getting the doctor on duty.”

NO! If you get the doctor, I’ll be sucked back into the dark water. I feel Trey holding my hand, and finally, I manage to blast an emotional thought bubble through our connection.

He whispers, “I got the pulse, but you aren’t breathing. Come on, Melanie!”

I stop in the light-blue water, feeling something new surge up. This isn’t how this goes.

“Breathe, Melanie! Please!”

Suddenly, images flash like a movie on fast-forward. I see it all just on the surface of the water, close enough to touch.

Trey waking up in a sweat-drenched fit, over and over. Trey crying, grabbing his pillow and screaming into it. Trey throwing up in the bathroom at school with Tanner standing at the stall door. Demitri and Adam with Trey while he cries at the lunch table.

I AM DONE! This is the only shot I’m going to get . . . I kick as hard as I can, straining against the water that holds me . . . And suddenly, just when I think I can’t go any farther, I break the surface, inhaling a gasping breath.

~~

My eyes open. Trey gasps along with me. He’s lying next to me. The blanket on my chest is soaked through to my skin with my sweat and his tears. He’s gripping my hand so hard it hurts, and his eyes are full of enough shock and relief to break my heart.

“You got me out of the water.”

He whispers, “I was right?”

I nod. “You were right.”

“I was in the water with you.”

“I know.”

Trey’s face crumples. He sobs, his body shivering. It’s gut-wrenching. I pull his head down on the wet blanket and hold him while he works through the trauma. My hands are shaking.

When he calms, I say, “I love you.”

“You have no idea how much I love you. I was so lost. The seizure stopped, and you weren’t breathing.”

I can’t help but laugh, the sound harsh from my vocal cords, left dormant for however many days I’ve been stuck in the hospital. “I was lost too. You have no idea.”

I reach over and pull the IV out of my hand, letting it fall to the floor.